nostalgia

I just visited Shelby at my old high school and while I was there I visited with my wonderful drama teacher, who helped shape my life.

That's her!

It was great to see her and even though it was weird to be in my old high school, it was nice, and it made me think. As I walked through the halls I wondered, "do these kids think that I am one of them?" because I sure as heck could have easily blended in with them all...and I thought "I am an adult."

As I drove away from the school listening to "I love you always forever," driving on a road of nostalgia and thinking about my life in high school I thought about how I am not at all where I expected to be when I was in high school. When I was in high school I had dreams and goals. I was going to be a star on Broadway and everyone I knew, knew that that's how it was going to be. I thought I would be at BYU, which I am, but I thought I would be in the acting program and in a main stage show there and getting ready to audition in New York. I definitely thought I would be married to Ricky Fenton by now, and I wouldn't have imagined at all that my grandma would be gone.

It has been 3 years since I graduated from high school. I have been married for almost 2 of those years. I have since changed my major, and am now a psychology guru. I will be graduating from college in December. My life is not at all what I expected it to be. It is so much better.

I am so happy with where I am in life, in my marriage, in my location, and in who I am as a person. Maybe physically not so much...but HELLO who doesn't want to change something about their looks? Basically what I'm trying to say is that I am happy. I'm grateful that I am married to who I am married to. I am grateful that I am going to graduate in psychology in December. I am happy that I get to live with my family for the summer. I am not so happy that my husband will be in New Jersey while I am living with my family, but honestly...I think it is the best for us right now. Financially, yes, best thing. Emotionally, maybe not so much, but I certainly don't think that our marriage is going to crumble because of it. I'm sure lots of people think that, but then..those people probably don't have very strong relationships themselves. It will be good. I will be able to be with my little sister, who hasn't had the best year, I will get to be with my dad, who doesn't have the best health and whose mom just died, and I will get to help my mom so she doesn't have to do EVERYTHING. It will be good for me. and it will be good for Matt. I know he will miss me ever so much, but it will be good for him to be able to focus on his internship so he can learn as much as he can. Basically, it will all be okay. And there will probably be blog posts in the future saying how sad I am about being away from Matt and how hard it is, but sometimes the hardest things are the best things for us. 

Good thing I have a MILLION pictures to look at in case I get lonely :]

In other news:

NEWSIES AND NEW YORK ARE SET.

It

is

really

happening.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Oh my gosh you don't even know how excited I am. Stephanie, Chelsea, Shelby, and I will be in New YORK NEWWWWWWWWWWWW YORRRRK (read that as if you were hearing Frank Sinatra sing it) from June 10-June 14 or maybe 15, but our Newsies tickets are officially bought for June 13. IT IS HAPPENING. Oh gosh. It is going to be so much fun and so amazing. There will be pictures (I almost typed "there will be blood," but hopefully that won't be happening). And since June 10 is supposed to be when Matt leaves for his internship in Jersey I can help him move in and get settled, and it will be a nice distraction so that I don't think about being away from him.