Julius Caesar- When we first met him he introduced himself as Julius Caesar. His partner that helped him serve was named Romeo. Apparently there was a girl somewhere else on the boat whose name was Juliet who was also a waiter so when we were introduced to Julius he told us "We have Julius, Romeo, Juliet, the only person missing is Mark Antony." Awesome. Oh yes, there is one thing you need to know. This man was from the Philippines...so when you read the things that I tell you that he said you need to hear them in your head with an accent of a dude from the Philippines, it makes it that much better.
Every time he asked us if we were ready to order we would say yes and then he would proceed to say "Alright. (deep provocative voice) Let's get it on!" Also when we would tell him what we wanted he would ALWAYS without fail say, "oh yeah, dat's da best right der" to ev-ery-thing that we ordered. Even when Matt would order after me he still said it to both of us every time. It was great.
Apparently Julius did not realize that the reason that Matt and I were on the cruise was because we were on our honeymoon until the second night that we ate at the restaurant. He saw my ring and asked if we were on our honeymoon and I told him yes and then he walked away. He came back a little later along with Romeo and they had one of their desserts for us. They then proceeded to sing happy honeymoon to us to the tune of happy birthday. It was awesome. I wish I had recorded it, but it went a little something like this "Happy honeymoon to yoooou. Kissy Kissy"(everytime he said kissy kissy him and Romeo held up a napkin in front of our face so that we could kiss hidden while everyone in the restaurant could look) "Happy honeymoon tooooo yoooou. Kissy kissy. Happy honeymoon happy honeymoon.. Kissykissy. HAAAAPPPPY HONEYMOOOOON TO000o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o YOOOOOOOU! kissssssssssssy kisssssssssyyyyy. HEY!!! ALRIGHT WOOOO!" Something like that. Needless to say..it was hilarious and I laughed the whole time, even when I kissed Matt behind the napkin.
Julius Caesar was also very skilled at folding napkins into objects that napkins aren't actually supposed to look like. Our table at the restaurant was one of the booths so there were booths on either side of us as well. To one side there were two old couples that shared the booth. Julius Caesar was also their waiter. One night Julius decided to do one of his napkin folding tricks for the old couple. He pulled out a napkin and just started moving it back and forth for a really long time trying to make it really dramatic. He stared at one of the old men the whole time he moved the napkin back and forth too. Then he would do one fold and move it back and forth and back and forth again and it didn't look like he was making anything, just like he was swaying back and forth. After he had done like maybe 5 folds and 5000 sways he suddenly flipped the napkin and this is what it looked like:
Needless to say...I was shocked because I was not expecting that at all. I cracked up and almost cried because I was laughing so hard. Matt laughed just as hard (I don't think he was about to cry though). The best part was that it was for 4 old people. And they loved it. They were laughing louder than me and Matt and just laughing louder than me is pretty hard to do. Julius Caesar added in a few shimmies to make the napkin bra complete and then he left to finish his other duties. He was awesome.
Those are only a few of the things that Julius did to make our cruise spectacular. Maybe I will write about him some more later, but for now I think that will suffice.
The Professor-So you know how everyone in Jamaica is supposed to be super relaxed and chill? It's true. Everyone is super friendly. Especially the Professor. I don't know what his real name is because that's how we were introduced to him and I don't care because I love the fact that he goes by the Professor. Everybody on the island knew who he was..or everyone on the island was just super friendly, which is highly probable. Here he is as we were leaving the pier:
DUDE! I love him. When he talks to the lady outside it is AWESOME. "you never realized a girl is so beautiful. All the while you see how she never ever smile and that kills her beauty." So true. Smiles always make people prettier. But aside from that..did you hear how much he was honking?! THAT GUY DROVE CRAZY. He kept telling us as he drove "People come visit here and they rent their own cars and they end up dead because they don't know how to drive here. If you ever come back come let the Professor drive you around." He was a crazy driver, but I would have much rather been riding with him then trying to drive myself. We ended up driving on a one lane two way road. It was crazy.
Randomly on our journey the Professor just started naming the great lakes. He got lake erie, michigan, ontario and he was like "what are the other ones" and Matt being from Ohio was the only one that knew them. Matt told him they were Superior, but he had to repeat it like 3 times and then Huron which he had to say twice and that was the end of the conversation. I don't know why he wanted to know that.
The best part about the Professor was that he did a woody the woodpecker laugh. It wasn't exactly like it. But he would laugh and then suck air in so it would make this really high pitched noise. It was so weird. It scared me the first time he did it. And then everytime after that he would lean really close to the lady that was sitting beside him in the van and do the laugh in her ear. He was so weird, but I loved him.
I love Jamaica.
There were other things that happened on the cruise, like we went snorkling and ATVing in the jungle in Cozumel and we played with dolphins and stingrays in Grand Cayman and we rode on ziplines and then in tubes down the white river in Jamaica. All those things were fun, but I will always remember Julius Caesar and the Professor.
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