I love walking home from school lately. It is fall. And I love it. Everything smells fresh and new and there is always a slight breeze in the air that seems like it is whispering something exciting is on its way. I love walking home recently though..because of the beautiful world I get to see as I walk. You better believe I just stopped on the sidewalk to take pictures of my walk home..I mean, it's totally normal. And the guy walking behind me didn't seem to mind, much, either. He just strolled right on past me about the third time I stopped for a picture. He was jealous.
I love this tree because the leaves make me think of trees from Jurassic Park. You know the kind? Okay, maybe not, but I always think of some precambrian leaf forms when I look at them. I like to imagine them fossilized millions of years from now in the cement. It's fun to imagine.
Matt and I have decided that we both love fall. One of the reasons why is because of all the leaves on the ground. That truly signifies to us that it is fall. Yesterday we were walking on campus, holding hands and there were leaves scattered everywhere. Matt said to me "I love the leaves on the ground, it makes it feel like fall." and after a little pause I said, "It is fall.."
I knew what he meant, even if I did pick on him a little.
This is the tree right outside our apartment. Our window is on the top right over there if you look between the yellow and green leaves. I like it because the yellow is just slightly scattered throughout mixing with the green. It almost looks like there are bananas growing in the tree, but it's just the beautiful leaves.
I do love walking home, and I am sure that you will soon get a post from me saying how much I hate walking home because of all the dumb snow and the cold. But for now..I love it. Even if I end up looking like this when I finally reach home:
Okay. I am done with pictures. But I just wanted to share a little bit more about my walk home today than just what the scenery looks like. One of the biggest reasons why I love walking home is that I get to think. A lot. Because it is a pretty long walk home, and I have short legs, which makes it even longer. I especially like this special little think time when I don't listen to any music. It's just me and my thoughts, and that's the way it should be sometimes.
Today my thoughts were geared toward a conversation I just had with one of my good friends about marriage..and kind of what it takes to be married.
Marriage is hard. I know a lot of times on this happy little blog I tell stories about how cute my husband is, and make our life sound all glamorous (okay maybe not glamorous) and happy, but truth is...I only write about the happy stuff (mostly) because I don't want people to know that there are hard times in my marriage! I think a lot of people..well maybe even ALL people that are married want everyone to think that they have the perfect marriage...and even if they really do have the perfect marriage it didn't just get that way overnight.
There are times that I have just cried in my room. Not because I don't love my husband and because he doesn't love me (because I do, and he does) but because I just felt like I didn't know what I was doing. Or I didn't know what I should be expecting from my husband. Just this weekend I got mad at Matt because we had tickets to the game and I was excited and then he told me that he didn't want to go. Lame. So I found someone to go with me and it was wonderful, but I didn't leave the house without making sure that Matt knew I was mad at him (by giving the silent treatment until I left and only saying "bye" in an annoyed voice as I slammed the door). I felt dumb afterwards, but while I was doing it I felt justified..."Yeah, why doesn't he want to go to the game with me? Doesn't he know I wanted to spend time with him?"
Oh goodness. I think all our problems could be solved if all of us were just not so selfish.
I apologized once I got home because I was mean. He apologized, too. I told him I was just upset because I had wanted to spend time with him. He told me he was sorry, too, he has just been running around all week and his way of relaxing is just sitting at home not having to go anywhere (you would think I would have learned that by now). The thing is, we COMMUNICATED. Maybe not right away, but at least in the same day we came together and talked about what was going on and what we were feeling and we made it right so that next time we (mainly me) wouldn't get so upset.
I don't know. I guess what I am trying to say is that marriage is work. You don't just get married and everything is perfect. I mean, come on... you are combining two completely different lifestyles into one marriage, there are going to be problems! But you work together to fix them. If you go into a marriage thinking you are right about everything and you don't need to change...then I would like to smack you in the face because you have another thing coming to you. Divorce is not a solution (in most cases). Don't think that just because you can't get along with your husband or he is doing something that you don't like or you think that him not wanting to go to the football game with you means that he doesn't love you anymore so you need to get a divorce. No, it's probably because you both have a little humility issues, you with actually bringing up a problem you have, and him admitting that he made a mistake, and you don't ever talk about it.
The temple can do wonders.
Wow, this post is jumbled and crazy and sounded so good in my head when I was thinking about it on my walk home, but somehow it just ended up as mumbo-jumbo. Anyways..by no means am I an expert. Hello, this post is just as much for me as it is for all the crazy people in Provo that have unrealistic beliefs about how marriage is. I just wanted you all to know that marriage is not perfect. Marriage is sometimes not fun. Marriage is sometimes sad. But the good most definitely outweighs the bad and it is most definitely worth it. I would not trade my marriage to my husband for anything in the world.
Not even a trip to Disneyworld.
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