Sprinkles

Remember how everyone I know is getting married? Well not everyone, but at least 3 of my very good friends are getting married soon, and probably a lot of people that I don't know are getting married, too. That picture up there is when my mom-in-law came out to Utah for Conference and we went shopping for Sarah's, my sister-in-law, wedding dress! Basically my mind has just been on weddings and marriage a lot lately. Maybe watching Say Yes to the Dress all the time is not such a good idea...but I wanted to talk about some stuff.

In my psychology of gender class we talk about lots of interesting topics, but last week the topic of the hour was why relationships these days focus so much on the physical aspect. And it got me thinking...why is everyone so focused on physical intimacy in the beginning of a relationship?

You can kiss ANYONE! You can’t talk to everyone.

If you want to be in a serious relationship with someone then a kiss (or make-out session) should not be the test to determine if they are “worthy enough.” It should be whether or not you can carry on a conversation with that person. Whether you share the same goals. Whether they can make you laugh or not. REAL things. A kid in my class put it well, he said “if you are making out with someone, you don’t have ANY time to talk to them or get to know them.” At least you don’t get to know them in the way that really matters. And when you do get to know someone in that physical way, without the communication and understanding of who they really are, then it seriously opens the door for much more serious physical transgressions or sins. Think about it..if all you do is make out with someone in the beginning of your relationship, and you think that is all you need to do to really know someone, then logically (but really it’s not logical at all) to take your relationship to the next level or to hopefully understand that person more, the next step would be to do something more serious, like have sex. Obviously, I don’t support this way of thinking at all…but I think that a lot of teenagers and people at college really do think this way. They think “if I want my relationship to take it to the next level, then we must have sex.” That is not the case. Communicating with someone and understanding who they are is a much harder thing to do than to be physically intimate with someone. I don’t know if this is making any sense…I just don't want marriages to be founded on whether or not you have done the most risque physical gesture with that person. Too many people these days are basing the quality of their relationship off of the quantity of make-out sessions (or more) they have had. You don’t have to be physically intimate with someone to be in an intimate relationship. Physical intimacy is not THE relationship. It is the sprinkles that you put on top to make it a little bit better...it’s not the whole dessert.

And if kissing and making out is all you are able to do with that person, then that sounds like some quality material right there..